Being a friend of the Savior

One of my deepest hopes and desires is to be a good person, a peson with whom Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will be pleased and happy.

However sometimes I waste my time in feeling hurt by things that others do.

For example, think of facebook. I recall a coworker a couple years ago saying that it is "the dumbest thing for adults." I both agree and disagree with her. For sure, it is a deep timewaster for me. I've got to do better at keeping away from it. Yet, I sort of enjoy Facebook. For me, facebooking is sort of like a virtual neighborhood. I enjoy glimpsing the quick checks on how friends- local and far away!

Sometimes as those who use facebook know, people "defriend".This means that essentially they sever ties at that website with the person, removing them from the list of friends.

Over the last couple years, I've noticed several have done this to me. And I know that this sounds totally dumb. But it hurts!! One time recently  I realized that I hadn't seen updates on a friend who had moved. So I checked her page to see how she was doing. And I noticed it said "add as friend". I'd been deleted! It did kind of hurt, for I had tried to be kind to this person-I had served her children in a calling, I had given her a baby shower gift, I had helped with a service task, and I had made an effort to reach out in another situation. Not that any of that should matter. I had respected this person, listened to her stories at a gathering with friends.

In another situation, a person had asked me for some minor assistance in what was an urgent situation. I tried to give comfort when the situation was resolved in an unhappy way. On another occasion, I went a little out of my way to do a very small service for them- delivering an item to their home- so that they wouldn't need to make an extra trip.

The last situation I will mention is a guy who I tried to help orient to singles stuff. He was a new male convert, and someone had asked me to help educate him on the local singles scene. We had talked in person about this, and I had sent him a couple emails with information on how to join the local email lists. Yet eventually he also defriended me! Oh well- I am so good that some time later, when our area began the new singles ward, I sent him information on that ward.

Yet defriending hurts.

I realize I have the weakness of being a deeply shy and overly sensitive person. Sometimes I struggle to trust the kindness of others to me, an issue I am trying to conquer.

 Unfortuneately I've allowed some childhood hurts to impact me off and on through my adulthood. I hate that I am this way. It is actually something that I thought I had overcome, but the last few months much of this pain has resurfaced as I've tried to figure out why I am how I am.

Anyway, all I mean to say is this "defriending" somehow hurts to some extent. I do realize people move on and that people have a limited number of people that they can concentrate on.

For sure friendship is far more essential than the superficial level that frequently exists on facebook. I want real, true, sincere friends.

What comforts me when I feel that slight sting that someone do that so and so doesn't want to be my friend is to remember that Savior will never defriend me. There is a beautiful scripture in Hebrews that says, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." That scripture gave me so much strength some years ago when I was going through a rough spot.

I also find comfort in thinking of my patriarchal blessing. There is a line in it that referes to my going through occasional bouts of loneliness and isolation in life and it lovingly counsels me to remember the "Savior is my Eternal Friend".

It makes me think that I need to be sure that I never defriend Him and that I strive to do all I can to be a good friend to Him by doing all I can to be obedient and to do my best to love and serve others and to try to be a better friend to others.