Of the Millions and Billions in the World, I'm Glad I Met This Young Man

As we go through our life, we meet many hundreds and probably thousands of people. Today I learned that a young man I knew about 12 years ago, in the late 90's, recently passed away. I've been thinking about him tonight. I feel lots of gratitude for having met him, and I'd like to share a little about something I learned from him.

At the time I met B, I was a direct care giver at a state residential facility for those with physical and cognitive developmental disabilities. Prior to meeting B, I had worked nearly 4 years on a unit at that same facility where the clients were unable to verbally communitcate. On that unit, the most medically involved unit at the facility, the clients communicated via smiles, tears, laughs. Often we had to anticipate what they needed. It was a wonderful experience, we worked hard, had fun despite the stress, and I learned a lot. Working on that unit was both one of the hardest things I've ever done as well as one of my most meaningful life experiences.

At one point, while working on that unit, in order for me to complete some prerequisite course work and observational experiences for graduate school in occupational therapy, it became necessary for me to work on the night shift. I was experiencing difficulty getting needed time off for the necessary classes and observations, thus going to the night shift seemed ideal albeit crazy. There was a night shift opening on another unit, thus I needed to transfer to that unit. In a nutshell, that year was my personal Year of the Zombie, for I was generally tired. But one of the benefits of going to the night shift on that unit is I was able to meet B,  in addition to the other folks residing on that unit.

On the new unit, most of the clients also had severe physical challenges and mild cognitive challenges. And most of the clients could talk...

So the first night, I assist one of the clients, "B". I forget what exactly I did to assist him. But as soon as I completed a certain task, he immedietely told me "thank-you." B had a neurological condition and one of his challenges was that sometimes his speaking somewhat labored, sort of a stutter. So in response to what I had done for him, slowly he told me,
 "t-th- th- th- th- Thank-You. "  It took him a few times longer to utter that word than it would take for most people. I was amazed that he made that effort to say thank you for whatever minor task he'd asked me to do. I didn't expect it. I was paid by the state to help him. Yet it truly amazed me that he said thank you.

RAMBLING FLASHBACK:  When I was in college, I had helped out at a Sunday School for residents of a state facility for similar individuals in Utah. I recall one time one of our volunteer leaders told us,  "someday they [referring to the residents] will thank you."  I had always remembered that statement but in applying it to my job, I never contemplated getting a thank-you from our clients at the facility where I worked. The smiles from the clients were enough. Sometimes our supervisors thanked us. And the thanks we'd get from the parents of the clients was likewise sufficient. Working with those precious people who could not speak, I never realized or expected a thanks.

So back to the new unit. Other of those clients also thanked us for the care given in the night. I recall that first night rambling to one of my new coworkers how that impressed me. This coworker was an older lady, close to retirement. She just looked at me as if I were nuts for being so amazed at hearing a thank-you.

So back to B, often if I was assigned to care for him, he'd call out "Juanita",  "Juanita", summoning me to his room to assist him with whatever he needed. Some of the tasks he would ask me to do were things such as to change the channel to his favorite late night show, to adjust the volume of the TV or to help him get more comfortable, ie in adjusting his pillow or placing his arm in a more comfortable position. No matter what the task, he always said thank you after each task, and he did so with a smile. And he would patiently repeat the request, on those rare occasions that I did not initially understand his speech.

I appreciate B's example of expressing gratitude. If I had been in his situation, in requiring so much physical help, I am pretty sure I wouldn't have been as patient, grateful and kind.

In thinking of B and in recalling the lessons learned from him, during the few months that I got to work with him, I hope that I can be a more grateful person to those who help me in life.

To B: Thanks for letting me learn from you B! Thank you for your smiles and cheerfulness. Please forgive me for the times in the middle of the night when I was tired and I rolled my eyes on my way to answer your call, even though you didn't see or know I had rolled my eyes. And yet you thanked me anyway. May you experience peace, joy and comfort and enjoy the presence of the Savior as you rest from your life so well lived! Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you for your example of gratitude, cheerfulness and kindness. May God be with you til we meet again!