Heavenly Father's Angel D: You haven't been forgotten

Hi D, It's been a long time since your smile graced the Earth. Hope Heavenly Father will allow you a peek in on this blog. You died Feb 5, 1994: way before I even knew about email, the Internet and blogs.

I met you when I was a direct caregiver at the state facility where I worked and where you lived. I was touched by how you lived your life with such dignity and grace. You know more than anyone that you needed total physical care and could not walk nor talk. You used a wheelchair to get around. You lived your life with phsyical and developmental disabilities. You had to endure splints on your hands and legs. You had to wear that plastic body jacket nearly 24 hours a day. To maximize your safety when you ate, you used a special head support to hold your head upright. You were one of the first people I ever met that had to use so many support devices and though I now understand the importance of these items, back then I used to feel bad that you had to use those items.

I remember how Bok and I used to sneak you breaks out of the body jacket! At the time, I thought I was performing an act of kindness for you. (I've since become an occupational therapist and wouldn't do that anymore).

I was impressed w/how you smiled no matter what. The song, "Wind Beneath My Wings" used to make me think of you and the grace with which you lived, especially the line, "a beautiful smile to hide the pain, I never once heard you complain, did you ever know that you're my hero". I think it was a catharsis song for me, it made me think of how wonderful you were to put up with what you did while you lived. I remember when I returned to the facility after my mission and glad to work with you for a few months. Then you became sick and to the hospital and eventually to the hospice. I saw you the Tuesday before you left the Earth and I remember going over the names of all the other clients and staff and telling you they loved you. It seems cold to say clients when I know they were your friends even though none of you could talk to each other. Yet I know you all developed eternal friendships due to your common bond that devoped while spending your life on that unit.

I don't know if you know what happened on that Saturday. On that morning I had gone shopping to buy some clothes for my assigned client. (remember how the staff each had one person for whom we kept track of the inventory and we'd buy needed clothes, w/the money from the state of VA). So I went shopping for him and bought some things. Then I went to Hallmark and bought this wonderful Valentine heart- a red doily- I was going to stick it on a posterboard and make you a beautiful Valentine card on behalf of all the staff/clients...your friends. When I got home that day, my mom told me C had called. By the time he'd called me, I'd already left for the shopping. C shared you had passed away early that morning. When my mom told me this, I sat at the top of the stairs with my mom and I cried. I was glad I'd seen you on Tuesday but felt bad I didn't get that Valentine card to you in time. Somehow that took me awhile to get over.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know we all loved you and enjoyed taking care of you. I just wanted you to know that I've remembered you during this 13 years. The other day I was thinking of you and how sad it was that those on the Earth today have missed your beautiful smile during the past 13 years. And I thought how wonderful it is that people in the Spirit World are getting to meet you and see your beautiful personality. (in LDS Church, we believe people exist as Spirits after death, until the time when they get to be resurrected w/a perfect and whole body) Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I remember you and am glad I got to meet you during your Earthly sojourn. And please tell K, M, A, V and E hi for me and that I love and remember them as well! And hopefully we will meet again one day. With love, Nita