Gratitude and Other Lessons Learned from Stings to the Heart and Soul

What is a heart sting? It is something I thought of today. For part of this year, my feelings were hurt due to not being allowed to do something that I'd like to do. More on that in a moment. I chose the term heart sting because like a jellyfish stink or a bee sting, this was a quick sting. It hurt at the time. Specifically, the sting hurt my heart and soul to an extent. However, I realize my experience is a mere sting..so many have suffered great trials of illness, death, disability and other serious things. So I chose the term sting just to note the fact that I realize my pain in the incident I will describe is a mere sting compared to the things that so many so courageously endure.

Basically what hurt was earlier this year, I learned that our stake was recruiting couples to serve in an upcoming youth Pioneer Trek..basically where the youth with adult advisor couples "pretend" to be pioneers for several days. The youth dress like pioneers and act like them and end up stronger people for having done so. I've heard the reports from the youth and adults who've gone in the past, from this and my former stake, and it just seemed like a cool experience as well as an opportunity to help and serve our youth. So I heard the call for volunteer couples..and I wanted to go!It sounds so dumb but for quite a while (probably since the late 90's), I've wanted to go on that youth trek and have that experience, as I hear so many neat things about it. I've always thought it would be neat to be asked to be a Ma in the trek. And I hoped to do something to support the youth. It is always a good feeling when you can help the youth.

So several months ago in sacrament, they announced the need for one ma/pa couple from our ward to volunteer for that event.Anyway, it was funny as at the time we had a visitor who stood up in testimony and said if we didn't have a volunteer couple that he and his wife would come back from across the country to serve as the Ma/Pa, as he had such a spiritual experience when he and his wife had served as a Ma/Pa. I shared w/a member of our bishopric that if I had a husband, I'd want to do this. But as I have no husband, I thought perhaps I could pretend to be a "widow" (there were many widows in pioneer journeys) or perhaps be an "aunt", as a friend suggested.

So I presented this idea to our Bishopric who supported this idea and asked the Stake on my behalf. But a couple weeks later, I learned that the Stake declined this offer. While I realize it could have been for a variety of reasons, it did hurt. It was like a sting to my heart and soul. For I felt that because I was single, I wasn't needed to help in this capacity.

So what have I learned:
~gratitude for those who listen to me (ie my Bishopric was supportive of this idea, as were other friends)

~ I'm not the only one with missed opportunities to serve due to current life circumstance

~ Gospel service isn't about me and what I "want to do". I need to learn to be better at serving where I am needed and not where I want to serve. While initially upon hearing I would not be able to do this, I basically felt undervalued/unappreciated and not needed as a single person in something I wished to do in the Lord's vineyard. Dumb me. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time being upset about this.

~ During the time that I was upset about this, I found out about a great talk by Elder Maxwell Link to talk: Content With The Things Allotted unto Us : http://tinyurl.com/aunbwq This talk describes how we should be happy with the opportunities that we are given in life and how we shouldn't "aspire" to more than we've been given, especially if we aren't making the most of our current opportunities to serve.

The entire talk is awesome but here are my favorite parts of this talk:
Elder Maxwell writes:
Nevertheless, we are to do what we can within our allotted “acreage,” while still using whatever stretch there may be in any tethers. Within what is allotted to us, we can have spiritual contentment. Paul described it as “godliness with contentment,” signifying the adequate presence of attributes such as love, hope, meekness, patience, and submissiveness (1 Tim. 6:6).Yet there are other fixed limitations in life. For instance, some have allotments including physical, mental, or geographic constraints. There are those who are unmarried, through no fault of their own, or yearning but childless couples. Still others face persistent and unreconciled relationships within their circles of loved ones, including offspring who have “[become] for themselves,” resistant to parental counsel (3 Ne. 1:29). In such and similar situations, there are so many prickly and daily reminders.Being content means acceptance without self-pity Meekly borne, however, deprivations such as these can end up being like excavations that make room for greatly enlarged souls..Some undergo searing developments that cut suddenly into mortality’s status quo. Some have trials to pass through, while still others have allotments they are to live with. Paul lived with his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7).Suffice it to say, such mortal allotments will be changed in the world to come. The exception is unrepented sin that shapes our status in the next world.Thus, developing greater contentment within certain of our existing constraints and opportunities is one of our challenges. Otherwise we may feel underused, underwhelmed, and underappreciated—while, ironically, within our givens are unused opportunities for service all about us. Neither should we pine away, therefore, for certain things outside God’s givens, such as for the powerful voice of an angel, because there is so much to do within what has been allotted to us (see Alma 29:3–4). Furthermore, varied as our allotted circumstances may be, we can still keep the commandments of God!Meanwhile, we serve as each other’s clinical material in the particular sample of humanity constituting “what is allotted unto [us].” The sample may shrink or swell, but most important is what we are and what we do within those varied allocations and in the particular “work to which [we] have been called” (Alma 29:6).Thus “the holy present” contains the allotted acres for our discipleship. We need not be situated in prime time with prime visibility in order to work out our own salvation!In contrast, however, as to improving our behavior, there are no borders that we cannot cross and no shortage of visas for those willing to venture!

~ This experience also helped me realize how truly grateful I should be to those who allow me the opportunity to serve them. Prior to this experience, I'd never really felt "gratitude" to those who allowed me to help them. Shortly after learning I could not go on this Trek, I learned about an opportunity to go to Guatamala this summer. In a totally spontaneous and impulsive decision, I decided to go..I think I turned in my leave slip the next day! Lots of singles will be going to a remote village where we will help build a school for those who live there and do other projects as well.

During a meeting where the leader of this Guatamala trip presented some of the trip details, he told us that the leaders of this village were grateful we were coming to help them!. Wow!! That statement really touched my heart. Somehow these people who live in one of the poorest villages in the world gave me comfort in their voicing of appreciation for what had not yet been done.

Applying to the rest of my life, I gained gratitude for others who have allowed me to help them and who accept whatever my humble offering is, such as what might be offered in a calling or in a work or volunteer capacity.

So today, I again thought of this situation, about the "heart sting" again, for someone has advocated on my behalf and again suggested the possibility of incorporating this widow idea into the Trek. I appreciate the advocacy, and it will be interesting to see what happens.

But whatever happens, I've learned I'm a good person. And though there will be times people will neither want nor need the help I wish to or am able to offer, I am grateful for those who allow me to serve them, for as a single person we have to go searching for opportunities to help others.. at least in my opinion, the chances to help are not as much in our daily midst as they are for those who are married and have children.

Finally, this made me realize how much better I could be doing in my life. I need to learn to be quicker and letting things "go" and not dwelling on the negative. I need to be happy with my available opportunities to help others. I definitely need to improve in my ability to love and serve others, especially to my family, friends, coworkers and those whom I serve in my job capacity.

It has been years since I've been stung by a jellyfish or a bee. At times I can recall the pain from these stings. This sting to my heart was a different type of sting, but despite the pain, I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned.